Tooie's Arrival
by Benjamin T. Kitsune
Summary: Kazooie's younger sister is coming for a visit!


Hello. My name is Benjamin T. Kitsune, for those of you that do not know me. I've been  
mainly writing reviews and such, but this is really the first time I've submitted an actual fic  
to Fanfiction.net. A little info about myself first- I am an SI author. I NEVER do a fic that   
doesn't have myself in it, and I never will. I'm into Humor, Horror, Romance, and  
Action/Adventure fics. I'm mainly into Mario, Banjo-Kazooie, Pokèmon, and Digimon.  
This is a Humor fic I just thought up, as I usually come up with spur-of-the-moment ideas  
like this. This is also one of the few fics I call Improvisation Fanfiction. In a nutshell,   
Improvisation Fanfiction is just basically fanfiction where I make it up as I go along.  
Without further ado, here's my first fic!  
  
TOOIE'S ARRIVAL  
by Benjmain T. Kitsune  
  
This will be written in script form, so I want to add a key before I go along.  
  
*letters in between stars means actions*  
*ALL UPPERCASE LETTER INBETWEEN STARS MEAN SOUNDS*  
() anything in between these means notes from me  
*()* anything in between these means thoughts  
^_^, O_O, =P, etc. are all expressions.  
LETTERS IN ALL CAPTIALS MEANS SHOUTING  
  
  
Get it? Got it? You sure? No? Good.  
  
Let's move along shall we?  
  
  
  
*It's a dark and stormy day.....how it can be dark and stormy while it's bright and sunny makes  
absolutely no sense to me whatsoever, but that's not real important, isn't it? We are at Banjo's  
house. Ben is jumping on the bed screaming his lungs out, while Banjo playing his new electric  
guitar Kazooie got him for Christmas. Kazooie singing along to the song Banjo's playing, while   
Tooty is running around like a chicken with her head chopped off and banging pans together.   
All in all, a rather quiet day.*  
  
Ben: WHOOPEE!! YEAH, BUDDY!! WHOO!!  
  
*Ben does a wild backflip in the air, when the telephone rings and throws off Ben's thinking.  
Missing a critical part in the flip, he lands head-first on the ground. Banjo stops playing, and  
Kazooie stops singing. Tooty is still going crazy, until she trips on one of Ben's tails. Ben  
gets up and goes to the phone.*  
  
Ben: Hello? Benjamin speaking. Yes? Uh-huh. She's here.  
  
*Ben turns to Kazooie.*  
  
Ben: It's for you, 'Zooie.  
  
Kazooie: *walking over to Ben* How many times must I tell you--*snatches phone from Ben's paw.*  
*In a sweet tone* Yes, hello?  
  
*There is a few moments of silence.*  
  
Kazooie: Okay. Really!? WOW!! Okay, see you!  
  
*Kazooie is very giddy.*  
  
Ben: Uhm.....?O.o?.....Who was that?  
  
Kazooie: It's my little sister, Tooie! She's coming over for a visit!  
  
Ben: Really? That's nice.  
  
*Ben and Kazooie turn together, but stop as they survey the choatic mess.*  
  
Ben: Uh, Kazooie? Just when is Tooie supposed to be here, anyway?  
  
Kazooie: An hour.  
  
Ben: *incredilous* AN HOUR!? *turns to Kazooie.....but she's not there.*  
  
Kazooie: Yep.  
  
*Ben turns around, a look of shock, confusion, disgust, and uncontrollable humor flash across his  
face simoutaneously. Kazooie is now standing there, wearing an apron and a hood, a vacumn in one  
wing, a can of Pledge and a rag in the other.*  
  
Banjo: *enters from kitchen, see's Kazooie dressed* What's going on here?  
  
Ben: Banj, we have company. Real soon.  
  
Banjo: Red alert?  
  
Ben: You betcha.  
  
*Banjo dashes off screen, and returns in the same outfit as Kazooie, only he has a broom in one  
paw, a dustpan in the other.*  
  
Ben: ALRIGHT!!  
  
*The screen now shows all three of them in the exact same ridiculous clothing, but this time Ben  
has is wearing a pair of rubber gloves, and he has a sponge in one paw, a mop in the other, & one  
of his four tails is holding a bucket of warm soapy water*  
  
Ben: Kazooie, you get upstairs! Banjo, downstairs! I'll take this floor! WE only have 55 mintues  
so let's GO!!!  
  
*Everything goes like somebody had just hit the Fast Foward button on the remote. All three go  
crazy as they clean the house. After some time, speed returns to normal*  
  
Kazooie: *panting* I....hate....fast motion.  
  
Ben: *gasping* Takes a lot......out of ya.....doesn't it?  
  
Banjo: *wheezing* You can.....say that again.  
  
Ben: Takes a lot......out of ya.....doesn't it?  
  
*The doorbell rings*  
  
Kazooie: I'll get it!  
  
*Kazooie runs to the door and opens it.*  
  
Cammi: Hello.  
  
Kazooie: What the...?  
  
Cammi: Just wanted to see if the doorbell's working. Appearently it does.  
  
Kazooie: Appearently.  
  
Banjo: Has she gotten into the sugar again?  
  
Ben: Uh....last I checked, no.  
  
Cammi: SUGAR!? GIMME GIMME GIMMEEEEE! *jumps on Ben and starts hollering*  
  
Ben: ACK!! Get her off! Get her off! Get her off!  
  
*Ben charges out of the house, with Cammi still holding onto him like a bad case of static  
cling.*  
  
Kazooie: *cocks her head to one side* Oooookay?  
  
*Kazooie turns inside and closes the door. For a moment, she ponders something, then calls over  
to Banjo.*  
  
Kazooie: Hey, Banj! Wanna make some Sweet Love?  
  
*Banjo's eyes go wide and he looks at Kazooie.*  
  
Banjo: How can a bear and a bird have s--  
  
Kazooie: NO, HENTAI!! Sweet Love is my secret recipie for a cake!  
  
Banjo: *visibly calms down.* Oh, okay....Wheew.  
  
*Kazooie walks past him, muttering "Pervert" under her breath. Banjo tenses up again, twictes a  
bit and shudders, then follows Kazooie into the kitchen. After a while, the doorbell rings  
again.*  
  
Kazooie: I'll get it!  
  
*Kazooie opens the door.*  
  
Ben: GET HER OFF ME!!  
  
*Cammi is still virtually superglued to Ben's back. Kazooie sighs and shuts the door again. Ben  
is seen outside the window trying to throw Cammi off, then pry her off, then utterly go crazy.*  
  
Kazooie: Banjo!!  
  
*Banjo runs up and salutes*  
  
Banjo: Yes, Ma'mm!  
  
Kazooie: Banjo, I need to tell you something.  
  
Banjo:........O.o?  
  
Kazooie: I think without a doubt....you are one the most dumbest, most aggervating people that  
make me just want to slam my head against the wall sometimes.  
  
Banjo:.......Yeah, I love you, too.  
  
*Banjo walks over to the window and sees Ben with a Machamp trying to tear Cammi away from him.  
Somehow, it looks like a really odd game of Tug of War.*  
  
Banjo: Goodness, I never knew one's back could bend at such sharp an angle. Hmmm. Learn something  
new every day.  
  
*The doorbell rings again.*  
  
Kazooie: I'll get it!  
  
*Kazooie opens the door.*  
  
Some guy: Hello, could I interest you in my insurance--  
  
*Kazooie slams the door in his face, and looks at the clock.*  
  
Kazooie: It's five past one! She should have been here already!!  
  
*The doorbells rings yet again.*  
  
Kazooie: I'll get it!  
  
*Kazooie....doesn't open the door. Instead, she looks out the window and looks at who it is.  
Instantaneously, she recognizes the person.*  
  
Kazooie: YOU'RE HERE!! *pulls her head in and opens the door.* I've been waiting for you!  
  
*In the doorway stands a Breegul that looks exactly like Kazooie, had it not been for the  
slightly smaller size in appearance, one could had said they were twins.*  
  
Tooie: How've ya been, sis?  
  
Kazooie: Just wonderful!  
  
Tooie: That's nice to hear. I'm doing all right myself.  
  
Kazooie: I missed you so much! C'mere and give me a great big bear hug!  
  
Banjo: Did someone say bear hug?  
  
Kazooie: Butt out of this!  
  
*Banjo walks away, dejectedly.*  
  
Tooie: Same ol, same old, eh?  
  
Kazooie: Same ol, same old.  
  
Tooie: Who's your friends outside? They look like they're playing an odd game of Tug-of-War.  
  
Kazooie: Oh. *points to Ben* That's Ben.....*points to Cammi*...that's Cammi....*points to Machamp and has an  
odd look* I dunno where he came from......but that's not important. C'mon in.  
  
*Ben is seen painting a bag of sugar on a brick wall. Cammi is still going nuts, trying to get Ben to give her some  
sugar. Finally, Ben backs away from the wall a couple of feet.*  
  
Ben: Look, Cammi! SUGAR!  
  
Cammi: Sugar!? *looks up*  
  
Ben: Yes! *points to brick wall with the very crude painting of a sugar bag on it.* Go get it, girl!  
  
Cammi: *lets go of Ben* SUGAR!! *dives head-first into the brick wall, thus knocking herself out.*  
  
Ben:............*turns around and walks back to the house.*  
  
*After a while.....*  
  
Ben: Soooo....*turns to Banjo* What do you wanna do?  
  
Banjo: I dunno. *turns to Kazooie* What do you wanna do?  
  
Kazooie: I dunno. *turns to Tooie* What do you wanna do?  
  
Tooie: I dunno. *turns to Cammi* What do you wanna do?  
  
Cammi: I dunno. *turns to Ben.* What do you wanna do?  
  
Ben: I dunno. *turns to Banjo again.* What do you wanna do?  
  
*This goes on for quite some time.......after....oh, say a couple of hours, they begin coming up with ideas.*  
  
Ben: Beat each other senseless?  
  
Banjo: Play Super Smash Bros.?  
  
Kazooie: Play 500 Rummy?  
  
Tooie: Go skydiving?  
  
Cammi: Throw a party?  
  
Ben: Run around like chickens with our heads chopped off?  
  
Banjo: Go mountain climbing!  
  
Kazooie: Run a marathon across the Great Wall of China!  
  
Tooie: Go skydiving without parachutes!  
  
*everybody looks at Tooie oddly*  
  
Tooie: It's not like we need them......  
  
Cammi: Hold a concert!  
  
Ben: Yeah! A rock concert!  
  
Banjo: By pitching rocks at each other!  
  
Kazooie: Terrorize the Jinjos!  
  
Tooie: Spray each other with whipped cream!  
  
Cammi: Play tennis!  
  
Ben: Piss off Jamjars!  
  
Banjo: Make fun of someone and ruin thier day!  
  
Kazooie: BANJO!!  
  
Banjo: I'm sorry........  
  
*After a while.....*  
  
Banjo: Ha! I'm the evil villian with the nasty attitude and I shall take over this world!  
  
Kazooie: And I'm the kind-hearted not-so-evil villian! And we're gonna kidnap Tooty and do.....evil stuffs!  
  
Tooie: *in Tooty's voice* No, don't do that!  
  
Ben: *in Mumbo's voice* Me Mumbo Jumbo. Best character in all game, although Mumbo do nothing but sit on  
butt for entire time.......  
  
Cammi: I am Cammi, the heroine of the picture! I shall save Tooty and the world and stuff like that! I need a side-  
kick, though!  
  
Ben: I can be one.  
  
Cammi: Cool! We need you like a bird, though.  
  
Ben: Like this? *puts on a false beak, but that's it.*  
  
Cammi:.........More or less. Ready?  
  
Ben: Cock-a-doodle-doo, and all that jazz.  
  
Cammi: I'll take that as a yes.  
  
Ben: Don't we need training, though?  
  
Cammi: Training? We know all we need, let's go get Banjo!  
  
Banjo: I'm the evil villian and I will defeat you!  
  
Tooie: Oh no, don't do that!  
  
Kazooie: Yes, please master! They're only just children! Spare their pitiful lives!  
  
Ben: This is humiliating.  
  
Cammi: This was your idea!  
  
Ben: It was? Oh yeah, it was. Never mind.  
  
Kazooie: Master Banjo?  
  
Banjo: Yes, faithful servant Kazooie?  
  
Kazooie: I think you're cute!  
  
Banjo: Watch your beak, young lady!.....You say I'm cute, do you?  
  
Kazooie: More than cute! Drop dead dashing! More ev-er-ree single day!  
  
Banjo: That's very kind of you. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE KINDNESS!  
  
Kazooie: Yes, sir! But I just wanted to say......  
  
Banjo: What is it!?  
  
Kazooie: I LOVE YOU, SIR!! *hugs Banjo tightly. A speech bubble appears over her head, an anime heart is   
within it.*  
  
Ben: O_o;; Things have just taken a turn for the weirder.  
  
*Suddenly, a Minjo comes by and......starts biting Kazooie!*  
  
Kazooie: Ow ow ow get it off get if off!  
  
Ben: Don't worry I'll save you!!  
  
*The vulpine grabs the Minjo and yanks it off of Kazooie.....only to have it come after him.*  
  
Ben: AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHH! It's after me!!  
  
*Ben knocks off the Minjo and takes out his K-64 pistol, but the Minjo knocks it away. Banjo, however, picks it up  
and points it at the Minjo.*  
  
Banjo: Eat lead and die, you #@$%^!!  
  
*BLAM!*BLAM!*BLAM!*  
  
*The Minjo falls over in it's own small pool of blood. It is dead.*  
  
Kazooie: My hero! *wraps her wings around Banjo's neck and hugs him*  
  
Ben: =P It's my gun.  
  
Cammi: Does anybody really care?  
  
Ben: Yes! I do.  
  
Cammi: BESIDES you.  
  
Ben:..............................  
  
Tooie: Sister's got a boyfriend! Yee!  
  
Kazooie: He's not my boyfriend!  
  
Ben, Cammi, Tooie: *in unison* Then is there any reason you're acting all lovey-dovey on him?  
  
*After a few moments......*  
  
Ben: Who's hungry!?  
  
Everybody: I am!!  
  
*Suddenly, nobody in particular runs up to them.*  
  
Guy: Hey! Free food this way!!  
  
*He runs off. The gang all looks at one another for a second, shrug and run after him. After a bit of running,  
however, the guy turns out to be Gruntilda!! Dun dun dunnnnnn!*  
  
Gruntilda: Now I got you right where I want you!  
  
*Gruntilda presses a button. A net comes up from the ground and traps two/fifth of our heros. However, the trap  
was designed to catch the women, but guess who it caugth instead? Yep, it was the men.*  
  
Ben: Hey what the?  
  
*Gruntilda points a gun at the boys.*  
  
Gruntilda: Do what I ask or they're history!  
  
*Ben and Banjo, finally relising the role reversal, both sigh.*  
  
Banjo, Ben: *simotaneously* This is humiliating.  
  
Ben: It may be humiliating, but look at the bright side- It's quite an interesting turn of events.......  
  
Banjo: Can't argue with you there.  
  
Gruntilda: Yes, quite interesting to say in the least.....but it will be more than interesting when I take over!  
  
Ben: Uhm.....hey girls! Try plan 64 A!  
  
Cammi: Plan 64 A?  
  
Kazooie: Plan 64 A?  
  
Tooie: Plan 64 A?  
  
Ben: Is there an echo in here?  
  
Banjo: Is there an echo in here?  
  
Ben: *twaphs Banjo* Knock it off!  
  
Cammi: Well you heard the man, execute Plan 64 A!..........Problem is, I don't know what Plan 64 A is......  
  
Kazooie, Tooie: *together* Neither do I.  
  
Ben: *facefaults* Okay.....this isn't working. The plan! THE PLAN!!  
  
Cammi: OH!! The PLAN!! Why didn't you say that sooner!?  
  
Ben: *buries his face in his hands* JUST DO IT!!  
  
Cammi: Okay! Hmph, SOMEBODY got on the wrong side of the bed this morning.  
  
*Cammi, and Kazooie quickly leap on Gruntilda, or rather the net. Quickly freeing the boys, all four tackle Grunty.  
The infamous Dust Cloud of Censorship quickly rises, and when the dust settles, all of them, including Tooie are  
shackled to the wall.*  
  
Cammi: Okay, that didn't go as planned.  
  
Gruntilda: *closes eyes* Now.....as I was saying.....I will rule this world soon! Those shackles are made of titanium,  
so you cannot escape. Don't even bother.  
  
*Grunty opens her eyes, to find the cast rubbing their wrists. Or where they would have been, in Kaz's and Tooie's  
place.*  
  
Ben: You were saying? Now.......  
  
*All five leap upon her again. Again the dust rises and settles.....to reveal the gang shackled again.*  
  
Ben: *blinks*.......You wanna try that again?  
  
*All five easily break thier bonds again and yet again leap onto Grunty. THIS time around, SHE'S the one bound.*  
  
Ben: *dusting his paws* There.  
  
Gruntilda: HA!! *tries to imitate what the gang did.....but she cannot escape.* What the?  
  
Ben: *shrugs* Don't look at me. *averts his gaze and has a mischeivous smirk as he nonchalantly clasps both of  
his hands behind his back and push away a box labeld "PLOT HOLES" with his foot.*  
  
Cammi: Well, we should be getting back.  
  
*Our five heros return home.*  
  
Ben: Who's hungry!?  
  
Everybody: I am!!  
  
Ben: Pizza?!  
  
Everybody: YOU BET!!  
  
Ben: Who wants what? I want cheese myself.  
  
Cammi: Cheese!  
  
Banjo: What? No honey? What the heck, cheese.  
  
Kazooie: Cheese!  
  
Tooie: Yes, cheese!  
  
*Ben whips out a cell phone and hits Speedy Pizza, which is(believe it or not) on speed dial. Quickly placing the  
orders, Ben closes the cell phone and just he does, the doorbell rings.*  
  
Ben: I got it! *opens the door.*  
  
Bottles: Pizza?  
  
Ben: How'd you get here so fast?  
  
Bottles: Beats me. Well, here ya go.  
  
Ben: Thanks, man. *hands Bottles some money, then turns around.* YO, CHOW'S HERE!!  
  
*Banjo, Cammi, Kazooie, and Tooie seat themselves while Ben gets the pizza ready.*  
  
Ben: Hey, check this out! *Ben holds up a plate with a slice of pizza, then throws it out the kitchen window. After a  
second, it flies in the open doorway, lands and comes to a sudden stop right in front of Kazooie.*  
  
Cammi: How did--  
  
Ben: All in the wrist. *smirks, and serves the others.*  
  
*After a week or two...*  
  
Tooie: Well, I gotta go.  
  
Kazooie: No, stay here with us! I'm gonna miss you.  
  
Tooie: I'll write.  
  
Kazooie: Can't I come with?  
  
  
  
Banjo: But then we'd miss YOU.  
  
Ben: I wouldn't.  
  
*Ben starts laughing like heck as Kazooie begins smacking him with his wings.*  
  
Kazooie: Please? C'mon......  
  
Tooie: Oh, sis. If only I could. I know I'll miss you too. I'll come again!  
  
Kazooie: Oh....allright. You'd better make it soon, though.  
  
Tooie: *laughs* Oh don't worry about that.  
  
*Kazooie and Tooie share one last hug before Tooie leaves.......everyone waves farewell, as she flies away....*  
  
THE END.  
  
  
Disclaimer: Banjo, Bottles, Gruntilda, and Kazooie- Me no own, you no sue. ~K~? Cammi Luna is herself.   
Ben is himself as Benjamin T. Kitsune. Tooie, as a character has been used before, so I don't know who owns  
her, and frankly, I don't care. I just know I don't own her.  
  
This is only my first fic here, so be kind! Please?  
Started: 1/13/00  
Finished: 1/15/00  
  
--Benjamin T. Kitsune 


End file.
